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Be Smart. Stay Safe. Use a ... Koozie.

by Matthew Cohen February 12, 2014

THE KOOZIE -- An American Icon.  Equal parts beverage insulator, statement maker, and social facilitator.

The Koozie is an American icon. And for good reason. It is equal parts beverage insulator, statement maker and social facilitator.  This romantic utility has made it a required accessory at every tailgate, backyard bbq, day at the beach, and picnic in the park. 

Beverage Insulator

The koozie keeps your hand warm and your beer cold.  It’s a lovely synergy.  If you use a koozie and still find yourself complaining about a chill in your hand get a better koozie.  Better yet – toughen up.  If you employ a koozie and still find the end of your beer to be warm and unpleasant we should discuss the fact that you nurse your beers.  Buck up.

Statement Maker

Walk into a party or bar and grab a beer.  Calmly pull a koozie out of your back pocket and slip your beer into it.  You’re making a statement:  “I take my beer seriously.” 

Bonus points if your koozie broadcasts some state pride, your alma mater, or a controversial political statement. 

Social Facilitator

You never know who you are going to meet when you are out on the town.  Future boss?  Love of your life?  Few things ruin a first impression as quickly as a limp, damp handshake.  Unfortunately a koozie won’t improve your grip strength.  Or help you with your hyperhidrosis problem (sweaty palms).  But I will tell you what it will take care of--that ice cold beer sweating away in the palm of your hand. 

Life happens.  First impressions are important.  Be ready.  Keep your hands dry.  Use a koozie.

Side Note:  You know what else ruins a first impression?  Having your sunglasses propped up on your head like some sort of goon.  Get some sunglass straps (we happen to be partial to Gobi Straps) and hang those sunglasses around your neck like a reasonable person.  End rant.

Matthew Cohen
Matthew Cohen


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